Freewrite

Plant a seed in my soul. I've been tending the soil and preparing the ground. I've been nurturing the matter and fostering the spirit. Anchored in the Earth, I open my entire heart, brain, nervous system and electromagnetic torus field. I feel plasma love fill me from infinite galaxies in infinite universes. I feel the dirt and greenery of my planet, I long for its waters, the smell of its seas, the blues of its skies and the sweetness of its fruits. I also long for the depth of starry space. And I know true love. So I am a very fortunate human being. I imagine that anyone reading these words is able to receive this energy, in this moment, whoooosh, a bunch o' love! 

I summon the deepest truth from within me. In the room I've sat so much and prayed and yearned, I sit now again and see yet another angle of the infinite facets of spirit… I realize any outward reaching of mine has always actually been just reaching within, even when not realizing that is the only "place" to find peace, answers, solutions, ideas, comfort. With my great fortune of love in life, I know well what it is to find peace and comfort "outside" oneself - for it's just so close and so ready, so reliable - all the people (and plants and animals!) who love, who give, who ask nothing in return, and who breathe through a smile. Yet I also know what it is to seek truth within, deep deep within. Even when not intending to do so, sometimes just riding along and plummeting towards a sort of transcendence. Stepping upon prismatic puddles of the rainbow oil of life lived for love. Existing to love. To speak of beauty and seek it everywhere. To know there is no longer a need for seeking. 

This seed is one of a tinkling truth which silently subtly sat straight by me all the while. 

Turning to look again, turning to wonder once more, 

yep, all clear, at last - for a glimpse again, 

of that "sort of" transcendence. It holds all the love that cannot be held. 

With that life-force, 

I seal this light-wave, 

onto every nerve-center

onto every strand of DNA

into every membrane, nucleus, neutrino - 

everything which comprises my body and soul, 

my world, my people, my land, none of it "mine," 

but all of it within me - 

and pray. 

Here I pray. Deep within the 

kingdom of goddess god goodness good

within the deep of me, 

reflected by pristine mirrors (with a scratch here and there)

but quite lucid nonetheless…

I pray for true presence. Moments, in which to serve. Give light. Community. Peace. What we truly need. 

Slippery thoughts meander not through these inspired halls of cell walls and pulsing blood. With this aliveness, I pray for my Mother, my Father, my every Relative and every Friend, my every Guide and every Angel. I count an uncountable amount of blessings. I give thanks with every breath in, and I release with every breath out. I witness beautiful music in my headphones and my heart swells with warmth at seeing the simple sight of my cat sleeping at my feet. I hold what needs to be held. And I let go of everything else. 

What needs holding? 

This seed being nurtured. This seed of a gift to the world. From my family. For my family. 

A seed which can absolve all doubts and remind me to twist out of darkness and summon the light, which is constant. To give thanks for that dark dark womb, without which the gift could not sprout. And to stretch calmly towards that light, as it is in my nature to do so. To exist. 

That, I already do. 

Please, my inner reflection of universal light energy and spirit of a mighty flame of kindness, please help me. I call out to the angels. Please help me remember

what is mine to do. 

So I can dance and sing

and show you too. 

To water my planted little seed, I breathe deeply right now and release the doubts of the previous weeks. Release the congestion of overworked thought. Release the buzz of other humans milling about. Hold compassion. Hold a new model of thinking, or, I do not "hold" it - but allow for it. Like my cousin Russell has said, only when you accept what you have, are you open to receive anything. 

I accept. 

On behalf of us all. May our beautiful world grow in love and consciousness.